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| Tuesday, January 16th, 2007 | | 4:21 pm |
Calling all Longtails...
Western women: as a representative of the island of Bermuda, it is my duty to inform you that you can make use of our terrific services without ever leaving North America! It may sound too good to be true, but this past summer, we opened a new, convenient location in the Upper East Side of New York City. Don't delay! It's just a quick trip on the 4, 5, or 6 train, and you too can feel the love! | | Monday, July 17th, 2006 | | 4:09 pm |
CNN
 Major story: President Bush uses naughty language when he talks to his friends. Minor stories: Destruction of infrastructure, Lebanon; almost 200 dead. | | Wednesday, July 5th, 2006 | | 10:30 pm |
Moving sucks
I am now a NYC resident, but I think that this photo sums up the pain of moving beautifully:  The couch and its owner are fine and both made it into the apartment. Eventually. | | Wednesday, May 24th, 2006 | | 1:24 pm |
| | Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 | | 9:38 am |
Bracketology
All right, everyone, after getting a couple invites to join various online tournament pools, I decided that we might as well have our own while we're at it. Unless anyone wants to make some side bets (I can't imagine that ANYONE would want to do that), this is just for fun only, to try to encourage participation. While I imagine that this will primarily be used by ex-Brownstoners, this is open to everyone, even if you're just picking by shortest team name ("Duke" is only four letters, by the way). I'm looking at you, newest New York uber-Duke fans. Please forward these instructions to anyone who might want to join! I don't think that I have to send out email invites, but if anyone has any problems, let me know and I'll get it sorted out. Here are the instructions that I stole from one of my other invites: 1) If you do not already have an account through CBS Sportsline, you need to create a free account. Visit www.cbssportsline.com and click on the Fantasy tab on the right hand side. To the right, you will see a box that says "My Teams" with a sign in button that should say "Not member. Register Free." Click here and follow the directions to create an account with a personal user id and password, and submit. 2) Once you have created this account, or if you already have an account set up with CBS Sportsline, click the link below (or cut and paste the link into your browser's address field) to accept my bracket manager invitation. You will be asked to enter the group password before you can join my pool (see group password below). GO DUKE! [Note: If you are receiving this invitation for the second time, or if you are already a member of this challenge, please do not register for a second time. One entry per person.] http://foobar.mayhem.sportsline.com/eOur Group password is: pinataluvottergreenfield ETA: Guess I should mention that the deadline for brackets is noon on Thursday. | | Saturday, March 4th, 2006 | | 11:05 am |
| | Saturday, February 11th, 2006 | | 10:27 am |
Sometimes politics are better in Bermuda
This is from a story in the local paper about a meeting that the United Bermuda Party (UBP) held the other day. Keep in mind that the UBP is a legit political party in Bermuda. They are the Opposition, who only lost power in 1998 after holding it for about 30 years, and most recently lost in the 2003 General Election: If the United Bermuda Party is to win the next General Election it needs to get its message out, stating clearly where it stands on issues that range from smaller details such grocery and Belco bills, to the GPS system for taxis, mortgage rates, housing, education and job opportunities.
And its MPs, officers and members need to reach out and mingle with parts of the community who have never come in contact with UBP people, doing so by moving out of the familiar surroundings of Chancery Lane wine bars to places such as Hubie's Bar on Angle Street.
Those were messages delivered by audience members at a meeting of the Party's Southampton Region attended by new leader Wayne Furbert and Shadow Ministers Jon Brunson and David Dodwell this week.Obviously they shouldn't let Hubie attend these meetings unless he's going to give some real constructive suggestions! Seriously, this would be the equivalent of a report about American politics starting: If the Democratic Party is to win in the midterm elections it needs to get its message out, stating clearly where it stands on issues such as the economy and the war on terror.
And its candidates and members need to reach out and mingle with parts of the community who have never come in contact with Democrats, doing so by moving out of the familiar surroundings of their northeastern wine bars to the dive bars of the Heartland.Clearly, the main reason that I didn't vote for Kerry (besidesthefactthatI'mnotAmerican) is because I never bumped into him at the Ale House, that elitist prick. | | Friday, December 30th, 2005 | | 11:06 am |
Boats, Books, Bibles and Porn
One of the controversies while I was in Bermuda for Christmas break was the presence of a boat, the Logos II. This boat travels from port to port, country to country, selling books. Some were unhappy because this introduced some very low-priced competition to local Bermudian bookstores (who have a much higher overhead) in the crucial pre-Christmas shopping days. Some complained that any money made on the boat would go straight off the island, which seems to contradict the government's current ad campaign aimed at convincing Bermudians to do their shopping on the island. Ever the patriot, I went aboard the boat to look for a deal anyway. It was pretty interesting. They had a list of ports they've been to, and it was all over the place, from Russia to Europe to the Caribbean. Since they travel to so many different countries, most with different currencies, rather than repricing every book at every new port, they simply price the books in "units". Then in each port they post a new conversion rate between the local currency and units. I also thought that there wouldn't be much competition for the local bookstores. I didn't find anything I wanted - most of the stuff wasn't really mainstream, and the boat obviously had a huge religious slant - probably 1/3 of the books were Christian. I guess they saw themselves as floating missionaries. So there I was, home for Christmas, surrounded by Bibles and The Purpose-Driven Life, and people who had dedicated their lives to spreading the Word of God. And that's when, appropriately enough, I discovered the perfect Porn Star Name. The captain of the boat's name was Captain Dirk Colenbrander - here's proof I'm not lying. Let's analyze this for a minute. First of all, his first name is Dirk. I think that if you name your son Dirk, you have to accept the fact that they're going to be in porn (or dedicating their life to Christ, whatever). It's the equivalent of naming your daughter "Bambi" or (oddly enough) "Chastity". (Quick note: I wrote "Bambi" before googling "stripper names") Secondly, his surname is Colenbrander. He BRANDS COLONS. Amazing. Lastly, he's a captain. I mean, "Captain" itself is good enough for porn, but he's "Captain Colenbrander!" There's alliteration there. Every combination of his names is good for porn. Dirk. The Colenbrander. Dirk Colenbrander. Captain Dirk. Captain Colenbrander. There is no way to say his name that doesn't sound dirty. Believe me, I've tried. I challenge you to find a real porn star with a better porn star name. Meanwhile, I'm going to go see about getting my name legally changed. | | Friday, December 16th, 2005 | | 12:58 pm |
Bermuda is ridiculous
Since waking up this morning: -I saw my parents in the morning (obviously) -Met with two aunts and an uncle at breakfast -Randomly bumped into another uncle and his wife in two separate incidents -Randomly bumped into two high school friends -Had two seperate decent length conversations on what I'm doing these days with people whose names I can't remember -Recognized a good five other people, either from afar or who I just didn't want to talk to And I've been working today. I've only been outside of the office or my home for about an hour and a half total. Also, this story from the local paper the other day is pretty amusing. | | Friday, October 28th, 2005 | | 12:54 pm |
Worst opening ever
And you thought the media in the US was bad? Here is the opening to a story from today's Royal Gazette (Bermuda's ONLY daily paper): "Bermudians may yet find out what went on behind closed doors when Premier Alex Scott discussed Independence with the British Government in London last week. As the Premier last night alluded to outer space piracy as yet another reason why Bermuda needs to have its own sovereignty to fight for its interests – be they in orbit or closer to home – it appears the mystery of his private meeting in the British capital will be cleared up in the coming few days." You can't make this shit up. I mean, I don't like the Premier (think President) of Bermuda, but he's not batshit crazy. He doesn't actually think that an independent Bermuda will be able to send our Regiment into space to combat space pirates in orbit, right? I'd hate to think that I left the island, when if I stayed I'd get to be a space marine! I'd get to put a rocket on my scooter! You have to read through the entire article to get the context. In the last couple paragraphs, it mentions that he is referring to the fact that the UK didn't stick up for us in a dispute with the Isle of Man over commercial satellite bandwidth: “As an Overseas Territory, the UK Government did not look out for our interest and, instead, the Isle of Man, like a modern day pirate, came close to plundering our commercial opportunities in space.” | | Wednesday, September 14th, 2005 | | 8:49 am |
Et tu, Alumni Directory?
Google can be a nice distraction when you're bored. Sometimes I google people I've lost contact with, or even myself (did you know that I'm a conservative politician in Scotland?). Well, late last night I tried using the Duke Alumni Directory for much the same purposes. It did indeed help pass the time, but I stumbled on the biggest scandal ever. Bigger than Plame. Bigger than Iran-Contra. Bigger than "so what you suck". When I did a search on myself, I found that the address was incorrect. It was, in fact, a familiar location on Bleecker Street. Now, I did spend a couple weeks there when I first moved back to the US, and one could put forward a reasonable argument that I should be paying rent now, but I've never listed it as my address on the Alumni Directory. Perplexed, I read on. And then I found It. An "It" so shocking, so terrifying, that I can't describe it, I can only show It: Family/Relation Relation Type SPOUSE Spouse/Partner Name Ms. Allison Ann Williams NOT COOL. The reaction can only be described as "snickerhorror". Doing a search on Ali's name, you find me listed as her spouse. That would lead me to believe that my account probably wasn't hacked, someone just sent some false info to the Alumni Association (or whoever maintains the directory). So: 1. I'll update my directory info. Wifey, you should do the same. I'll send an email to the alumni association to check and see if this information goes anywhere else where it might need to be fixed! 2. After fixing the problem, the vile perpetrator(s) must be punished for their actions. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that whoever did this either reads our LJs or is a friend of someone who does. REVEAL THYSELF, SCOUNDREL! | | Tuesday, September 6th, 2005 | | 11:45 am |
| | Friday, June 3rd, 2005 | | 12:32 pm |
Mets game?
I've been offered two tickets (as in, one other person besides me) to the Mets game at 7:10 PM tonight. Does anyone want to go? First come, first serve, if nobody wants to go then I'll just stay in Stamford. | | Friday, April 22nd, 2005 | | 1:33 pm |
it's my post of the quarter
For anyone else looking for something to do besides actually working... have you guys seen maps.google.com yet? It's really cool... you can type your address into the search bar at the top and switch between a map and satellite view on the upper right (map is easier for finding stuff). Click "link to this page" below the Map-Satellite option to create a link. http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=32.300513,-64.751058&spn=0.004967,0.005729&t=k&hl=en - My house in Bermuda is pretty much in the center of the image. Follow the road in the bottom-right corner that goes from southwest to northeast. There's an estate road that branches off north of this road in a < shape. If you followed that road, I'd be sixth house on the left - it's got a nice big yard & a pool. http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=32.299118,-64.787353&spn=0.004967,0.005729&t=k&hl=en - There's a big field in the middle of this, with a pool and two main biggish buildings just north of the field. That's my middle / high school. http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=36.000513,-78.938227&spn=0.004967,0.005729&t=k&hl=en - Duke University West Campus. You can see the Chapel and Brownstone (both of 'em). You can drag the image down a bit to see Cameron and Wallace Wade (you can even read "Duke" in the end zone). http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=36.007047,-78.915514&spn=0.004967,0.005729&t=k&hl=en - Duke University East Campus | | Thursday, August 26th, 2004 | | 8:27 pm |
| | Thursday, August 5th, 2004 | | 12:50 pm |
| | Sunday, August 1st, 2004 | | 1:14 pm |
| | Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 | | 1:36 pm |
Mortal Kombat
So help me, I'm actually excited to watch "The O'Reilly Factor" tonight! In what I'm sure will be an orderly, reserved debate, that will in no way resemble two biased fools yelling at each other, Michael Moore will be on the show! Here's my prediction: O'Reilly: "Welcome to the show. Now let's get to it. Mr. Moore, we've covered several inaccuracies in Farenheit 9/11. Your response?" Moore: "Well, I..." O'Reilly: "I didn't think you'd have a response. Mr. Communist, why do you hate America?" Moore: "I don't actually..." O'Reilly: "No, you listen to me, Sir! Just because you were disappointed that your good buddy Saddam was removed..." Moore: "I'm not..." O'Reilly: "How dare you! Fair and balanced! No spin zone! Buy my book!" Moore: [eats O'Reilly] | | Sunday, June 6th, 2004 | | 2:53 am |
Everything you didn't know about Bermuda but were afraid to ask
A bit bored, so I decided to surf the net and find some stats and facts on the homeland for you. Don't force me to defend any of these stats, I just grabbed them from a couple web sites: * Bermuda is a group of 360 small islands, of which about 20 are inhabited. But ignore that, 'cause I can say that living there, it feels like it's just one mini-island with some other mini-mini-islands around it that you take a boat out to for BBQ and booze. * Population: 64,500 in 20.75 square miles. I know that I've been saying 60,000 in 21 square miles, so I'll say that when Hurricane Fabian hit us last year, a quarter mile was knocked off, and residents caught without TV or Internet for weeks had 4,500 babies. * Life expectancy: 77.41 years - we're much hardier than you weak yanks, who can only expect to live 77.14 years. * Our GDP is $34,893.45 per person, you obscenely rich yanks make $35,991.96 per person. At second and third in the world, though, neither of us is exactly poverty-stricken, though. Damn you, Luxembourg!!! * Geographical position in extreme co-ordinates: North/South: 32°18 N / East/ West: 64°46' W - NOT in the freakin' Caribbean, can we get over this? * Unlike most other places with a native population dating back to the mists of time, Bermuda had no resident permanent population at all until 1609 when English settlers came by accident, then came deliberately from 1612. I just kinda liked the whole "by accident" bit. * 3rd highest population density on earth, with 3,372 persons per square mile. First goes to Monaco with 15,921 (poor souls, we really need to start some sort of relief fund), second to Singapore with 6,891 persons per square mile. * Most legislators per square mile, with far more - 2.45 - than any other country in the world bar none. The ratio of legislators to voters is also far fewer - 1: 752 - than anywhere else (averaging 1:10,000). Thus making the Bermudian population the least trustworthy in the world. * Bermuda has one of the highest marriage rates, but among the lowest divorce rates. * 6th highest rate of AIDS. D'oh! Can this be? * Highest number of telephone lines per-capita in the world. * My new favorite statistic on Bermuda: second most per-capita TVs in the world, with 1023.54 per 1000 people. The US has the fourth most, with 754.28 per 1000 people. * We're clearly a military superpower, with our Bermuda Regiment receiving $62.46 per capita. In comparison, the US spends $953.01 per person. That's $4.028 million total, 5th least in the world, to the US's - well, it's not worth giving a figure for you guys right now, it'll be billions more in two weeks. * By far and away the least generous benefits and services to its senior citizens and the disabled of any of the countries with a high GDP. * Summer Olympic medals (all-time): 1. * To any American who snickered at that last statistic, on a per-capita level, we're kicking your asses, with 1.55e-05 per 1,000,000 people to your 7.28e-06 per 1,000,000 people. So hah. We're doing more than twice as well as you. * This is kinda cool: Poor: Bermuda 19 percent - United States 24 percent Nearly poor: Bermuda 11 percent - United States 8 percent Middle income: Bermuda 46 percent - United States 34 percent Affluent: Bermuda 24 percent - United States 34 percent My sources (most of which had conflicting stats): http://www.nationmaster.comhttp://www.library.uu.nl/wesp/populstat/Americas/bermudag.htmhttp://www.bermuda-online.org/population.htm | | Monday, May 17th, 2004 | | 1:46 pm |
It's just damn good to be me
Ok, so despite some torrential rain and creepy 40-year-olds, this was a damn good weekend. I got very drunk in Stamford on Friday night, hitting a couple of bars in the area. I vaguely remember filling in something or other with my email addres that night. This will become more important later. And on Saturday, even though the monsoon that hit Manhattan prevented a grand pub crawl, the MacDougal Street Ale House ended up being pretty fun, despite my relative sobriety. (Lesson learned? You don't HAVE to be drunk to have fun, kiddies. But other people have to be.) Then, Sunday had such damn good weather, you couldn't help but be in a good mood. To top it off, I just got this email (I've asked around, and it sounds like this is legit): "Congratulations! You've just won a free happy hour party at Hula Hanks Island Grille and Bar! As a special guest you will receive a free party for you and 24 of your friends or co-workers! Your free party will include one hour of open bar (Domestic Draft Beer, Wine, Soda, Well Drinks and 12 oz Frozen Drinks) (gratuity not included). You can host your free party on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday between the hours of 5-6, 6-7 or 7-8. If you wish to host your party on a Saturday or Sunday you may do so between the hours of 7-8 or 8-9pm." I AM INVINCIBLE!!! |
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